A new beginning

A few weeks ago the divorce was final. Last week I finished up my therapy. A rough 7 years is finally over for me and it’s time for a new beginning.

In hindsight the relation was a terrible one. Basically it was a one-way thing. Giving a lot and not getting much in return. I kinda knew I had to get out of it for a long time but love makes you do dumb things and I staid hoping things would improve. Things didn’t improve and only went from bad to worse. Eventually the bomb burst. I have my role in this. I worked on the issues but looking back I should have gotten the hell out of there much sooner. And the biggest issue is now solved by divorcing it.
The only positive result of that relation is my son and daughter. They make the suffering worth it.

Currently I’m still looking for my own place to live. There is a waiting-list for rental homes. The waiting period is roughly 18 months. For the time being I’m living with my mom again. Not really a big problem but Half my stuff is stored over at my cousin’s place so I don’t always have everything I might need.
The rest, with the exception of a livingroom and tv, has to be bought new (or used) once I get a place to live. I don’t have a bed. I don’t even have sheets for it. I might have a towel or two (that might be in the boxes at my cousin). No pots and pans. I do have plates, forks, knives and spoons. No fridge, freezer or washing-machine
I have no beds for the kids. I do have one toddler bed but by the time I have my own place Tyler will almost be too big for it.

But that’s ok. I have to save up a lot of money so once I do find a place I can get everything I need. I can make the place my own.
I’ll be living close to my friends and family again. I’ll live a little bit further away from my job but that’s ok with me.

One of the downside to the divorce is me having to give up my season ticket to FC Twente. With the kids over every other weekend I’m going to miss a lot of games.
As an alternative I decided to pick up airsoft more intensively. I was a point where it was either quit or keep going and decided to keep going. A few weeks back I had my first event is months and it was great. Got some new gear. Found out a old friend of my brother also plays so another airsoft buddy to go to events with.

One of the greatest joys is my daughter starting to like auto-racing. At this point I’m not certain if she likes it because I like it or if she really does seem to enjoy it. From what I’ve heard she did talk about it all week so hopefully she really likes it (for now).
Reminds me of the days where my dad and I watched F1 or Indycar.
With some luck her brother also starts to enjoy it. It’s a great way to spent the sunday afternoon.

Another good thing I’m doing is going to the gym again. I’m trying 3 times a week but I don’t always manage to do that. It’s not really helping yet but hopefully in time that will come. I’m hoping to gain enough condition I can start running again. I never really disliked it. Just out there, alone, music blasting in your ears. What I disliked was not being able to go for 5km straight without being out of breath.